Sex, Chi, Low Libido and Depression

Depression is commonly associated with low Chi, which we will define as our primal spiritual energy, and is closely associated with our sex drive and desire for procreation. 

That’s why when chi is low, sex drive is also low. Low chi can be caused by many things, such as unresolved guilt and anger, long periods of continued stress (6months or more), poor diet and lifestyle and a lack of successful and worthy accomplishments. We tend to be more prone to illness when chi is low.

Nurturing our chi is vitally important as we age. Calming, soothing activities most strengthen us. Going for a walk/run/picnic near nature, listening to spiritual music, breathing slowly and deeply, practicing mindfulness, meditation, prayer and song, all these activities nurture our spirit. Spending time with someone who loves you and gives you the freedom to be yourself and laugh without judgement. These are the things that make us strong.

When we are time poor or are avoiding or ignoring such disciplines, our health and mind can get out of balance and we become weak and irritable or depressed, demotivated and hesitant. We hijack our wellbeing because we neglect our duty of self nurture. We think we are stronger than we are till we break…and one of the first signs that we are breaking is that our previously healthy libido has changed. Certainly the most common Meds for depression can also quench libido, quite significantly with some people.

For those who have a low libido and low/no desire for sex, whether on depression meds or just overworked and stressed, nurturing your bodies vital energy stores is the fastest way to get results. It also helps to have a willing, generous sex partner who can help you, because sex, done well, nurtures chi powerfully. That in turn helps fight depression.

In the same way that unfit people don’t feel like exercising, exercise is just what they need. If they make a comittment and “just do it”, those endorphins kick in and they will feel much better for it. It’s the same with sex. You may not feel like it, but it’s what you need.

I am a big believer that couples should nurture one another for a minimum of 30 minutes daily whether you feel like it or not. Even though you may not have a desire for sex, if you just relax and allow yourself to be touched and nurtured, massaged and held, affirmed and loved with patient, persistent attention, desire will follow.

Don’t allow your mind to wander into negative or busy thoughts, keep your awareness upon the sensations in your body. Use your breathing to keep your mind calm and welcome the nurture. 

Your partner should spend more time touching “non-sexual” parts of your body. The feet and legs are particularly important when nurturing Chi. Pressing the thumbs into the soles of the feet, rubbing around the ankles and knees and up the inner aspect of the legs gets energy flowing through the kidney meridian and starts chi flowing into the body. The belly is like a chi storehouse. Visualise energy flowing up your legs, through your sex organs and pooling in your lower abdomen. When that is full, allow a column of energy to fill your heart and overflow down your arms and up to the top of your head.

If you don’t have someone in your life, you can use the gift of your imagination, visualising this upward flow of nurturing Chi flowing into the soles of your feet and up the inner leg. Contract your pelvic floor muscles like a pump and push energy into your abdomen then relax and breathe. Use the diaphragm on the outward breath to push energy from the abdomen up to the heart and on the in breath release it through the arms and head.

Are you depressed. Has your libido gone? Then give yourself some nurture and if possible allow your lover or other safe person to nurture your Chi and you will feel better, bit by bit.


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